colfersaurusrex:

I couldn’t care less about your religion or sexual orientation or race or whether you’re a virgin or have slept with 400 people or have done time in jail

but the moment you eat my leftovers without asking that’s when i decide you’re a terrible person

(Source: rexuality)

lindsaylohoean:

all the people around me are falling in love and im just here falling asleep

marukobott:

if i ever misgender you:

  1. it is not on purpose i promise
  2. im very sorry
  3. tell me your correct pronouns and ill use them
  4. spray me with cold water

(Source: marukobott)

hotboyproblems:

i want every single high school musical song played at my wedding

wizcoylifa:

dear coca cola company,

i drank some of your POWERADE drink and im still weak as fuck when will the power begin to kick in? please reply soon, i just sent a mass text to my entire school saying i would beat up the football team this friday

(Source: falcnpunch)

hamburgurl:

I’m like 25% funny and 85% bad at math